You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
