I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
