Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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