There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
