seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
