if you like me you must not know who I am
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
