Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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