dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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