Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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