We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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