The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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