he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
