You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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