mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so that wasnt chicken after all
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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