I accidentally had phone sex last night
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
