But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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