The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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