And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
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I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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