Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
PANTIES FOUND
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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