We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
