yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
