ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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