Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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