I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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