Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
