He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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