But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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