Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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