Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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