Fuck appropriateness.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
