nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
is wine microwaveable?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
