the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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