I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
