Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
