I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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