but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Are we still banned from the library?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
