My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
handjob tips. give me some.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
