i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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