Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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