Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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