I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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