he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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