who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
