At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
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Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
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The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
3 2 1 whiskey
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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