The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
