Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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