distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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