I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
