speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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