just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
