I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
