she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Two words: blizzard sex
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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