did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
