she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize