she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
