her vagine was all disorganized.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
