Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
