Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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