Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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