I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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