How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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