i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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