my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He has the fingertips of a God
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