carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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