Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
