I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
